We survived...

1st day back to work and 1st day without Vivi went off without a hitch. I had all of Vivi's things packed and ready to go the night before...my work outfit laid out, lunch made, all was ready to go.

On the way to the babysitter's (Laura), I just made it a point to not think too much about leaving her for the day. Because I knew that once I did, the tears would come. And the same for when I dropped her off. I had to make it quick. And I did. Laura told me I could call if I needed to and walked me out. As I was walking to the car, I started to tear up, but I held it together. I decided not to call throughout the day because I figured it would just make things harder. Fortunately, the day went by pretty fast and seeing how content she was when I picked her up, made me feel so much better. Instant relief.

I still get sad when I think about my little girl being in the care of someone else. I know that this is not reasonable to think, but what if she doesn't know that I am her mommy? Am I gonna miss all of her firsts? What about all of the pictures and videos I could be taking? How will this affect her and the person she becomes? I've already been struggling with feelings of not having a strong bond between Vivi and I. I feel like I've just been in mommy-mode. Just making sure all of her needs are met instead of taking the time to stop and stare at what I really have in front of me. All while taking care of CeCe (a handful on her own) and being a wife. 6 weeks just wasn't long enough to really make it through the adjustment phase. I just have to keep telling myself that people do this all of the time and things will be ok. I'll be praying A LOT for sure!

The rest of the week was pretty much the same....during the day. The nights, not so great. Wednesday and last night, Vivi decided to sleep about 3 hours, which means mommy and daddy only got about 3 hours of sleep. Not really sure what was going on. She just was not content. She wasn't crying the whole time but she wasn't happy either. She was squirmy and whiny at times and would just not fall asleep.

Needless to say, we are exhausted.

And, another thing, I am determined to continue breastfeeding for as long as possible. I started pumping when Vivi was less than a week old to build up a supply. And now, I am having to pump at work. Every 3 hrs. This means, I no longer have a lunch break for socializing. Just me and my pump, in a conference room. And it will be like this for another 7 or so months (until summer). Oh the sacrifices us moms make. I guess she's worth it ;)

Back to work

Tomorrow is my first day back to work after being off for maternity leave. Why does time seem to go by way too fast? I can't believe 6 weeks has already come and gone. But most of all, I can't believe it's already time for me to hand my sweet little girl over to someone else. This will be such a huge change after being able to stay home with CeCe for 18 or so months. Honestly, I think I will be fine. I've had a long time to get used to the idea. But it doesn't mean that it will be easy.

This is Vivi saying "Mom, don't worry, we will both be ok!"

Please pray for strength and peace during this transition time :)

29

It's my birthday and I'm 29! This is officially my last year as a 20-something! I am extremely blessed, I feel great, and I'm happy and content with my life so far. Honestly, I look forward to 30 so this really is just another year. I always thought 30 was a good age. 20s are hard...all about growing up and making mistakes and figuring out who you are, among other things. I think 30s are for mellowing out and relaxing, but having real grown up fun!

Ok so about my day. Last night, I told Josh that all I wanted from him was for him to bake me a cake. Now, if you know Josh, he's not one to do magical things with food in the kitchen, let alone bake. But, that's what I wanted and he obliged. I told him to just get a cake mix and follow the instructions. I even let him choose which cake to make! So here he goes...

(sorry the pictures are a little dark)

Vivi helped too!

Precious girl

What a pair!

And into the oven...

While waiting for it to cool, Vivi entertained us with her sweet faces!

It ended up getting late so we decided to wait to put the icing on until today.



There it is! That is supposed to be a birthday candle decorated with sprinkles.
This evening, my father-in-law came over and took us out for dinner. We decided to go to Cheddar's....great food and kid friendly!

Then we came home and had cake for dessert! It wasn't the best looking cake, but it was made with love from my sweetness.......and sure was yummy!

Oh, and I got my hair cut (a couple of days ago). I love it :)

Here are some videos of my CeCe queen. She was playing with the birthday card my sister got me and I decided to have a little fun with her!

(If you're wondering what the card is saying, it is about having no rules on your birthday and doing everything you're not supposed to do, like run with scissors and stay up late, etc.)

And here she is wishing me a Happy "Daddy" (Birthday)!

Arboretum Fall Festival

Today, we met the Garrett's and the Batson's at the Arboretum to check out their Fall Festival. More pumpkins!! My mom came with me because Josh was out of town for Cross Country.



We wanted to get some pictures of the kids in their Fall/Halloween get up with all of the pumpkins. I was fortunate to find CeCe and Vivi matching outfits and I couldn't wait to see them looking so cute! All week, I was so nervous because CeCe is such a handful and I wasn't sure how we'd get any pictures of Vivi since CeCe is too little/not really interested to hold her and she's too little to sit up on her own. I just wanted to be able to get at least one good picture.









Well, it turned out to be a great day! It was a little hectic trying to keep up with everyone. At one point, we thought we lost CeCe. I thought she was with my mom and my mom thought she was with me. Man, talk about panic. It lasted about 2 minutes but I was so scared. Luckily she was with Lee and all was ok.

My mom held Vivi the entire time so we could park the stroller. CeCe had the BEST time roaming the place and playing with all of the pumpkins. She took some great pictures and was in a great mood the entire time. We just with daddy was there to join in on the fun!

Pumpkins Galore

Last week, we went to dinner at Cowboy Chicken at the Village of Allen. Great place to eat! They have a huge wood burning fire pit in the middle of the restaurant cooking lots of rotisserie chicken.

Afterward, we took CeCe to the Pumpkin Patch and Village Express Caboose. There is a Whole Foods opening up in November and they supplied all of the pumpkins! CeCe loved sitting and climbing all over them.

The Caboose is a mini Train Station for kids. CeCe just walked through each of the buildings and checked everything out. It was a quick outing that turned into lots of fun!